eu era intercâmbio (i was an exchange student)
in less than three short months, this verb, to be, will change from the present, to the past.
i will no longer be an exchange student, no longer be the only american in vale do aço, the girl with the silly foreign accent, i no longer will be different from everyone else around me
the date: july 16th
the day i have to say goodbye to my families, the people that have taken care of me; have to bid a farewell to my friends, my school, that i have laughed and joked and smiled with for the past year; leave ipatinga, my city, my home, until my next return which might not even happened; and then i have to say gooodbye to brasil, my dreamland.
in a flash of my eyes, this year will be over. just a year that i spent in brasil, a collection of memories, of stories that no one will find funny, of pictures that try to hold a moment in time but fail, of experiences that have made me the person that i am.
then somehow i have to pick up my life, back into "reality"
go to westmini as a freshman and hit the books, hard. find a job, hopefully. and spend time with my loved ones, and try to make up for lost time.
but it was a year of separation ..a year of change ..a year of growing up ..a year of expereince that you dont find in Pennsylvania.
i am terrified to go home. i am scared outtta my mind to return. i'm afraid
but theres a part of me thats excited to come home:
i'm excited to go shopping in boardman with riss, try to sell our clothes at platos closet, sneak into girly movies with foood, have lunch at panera bread, steal her clothes & "ruin" them, take her car and have to pay for the gasss.
i'm excited to hear my mom yell at me for leaving hair in the drain, find a list on the counter with her handwriting, have tea in the morning on the backporch.
i'm excited to hear my dad's laugh, see his dirty (&ugly) boots, watch him roll his eyes at my mom, and see him purposely put meat into the pasta on sunday even though he knows i dont like it.
i'm excited to see how much natalie has grown up to a "litttle lady," tease her on teenage things, hear her attitude and watch her eyes light up while she plays with bunny.
i'm excited to go to grandma's house on sunday and family picnics!
i'm excited for bonfires with friends, MARSHMELLOWS, gossiping with girls, driving around just cause and then eventually saying goodbye as they venture off to college.
i'm excited for the litttle things.
but then sometimes, i think about things back home and through the gap of 7months, i have forgotten about things. like the thrill of driving with the window down and the breeze in your face; the smell of my house; the WAHS bell schedule that was always wired into my brian; why north-ers hate winter when allll i wanted was to feeel a snowflake on my tongue; how to flirt, ooh god how i wish i know how to flirt again; how i acted in high school, did i have an ongoing conversation? did i pay attention in every single class? what did i do on weeknights beside study?
so these next three &half months here, i am going to enjoy every last minute of it.. because before we know it, ill be at the airport, thinking ..i'm going back home? i thought i just got here?
