somehow i managed to squeeze my entire life into two huge suitcases, one carry-on bag, a backpack and one purse. i don't know how it happened ..but it did. i had my fingers crosssd the whole time.
all the suitcases, spring cleaning and goodbyes only mean one thing: it's moving day.
i changed families, again. i came back to my first host family to spend my last month with them ..since i was only in their house for barely 3months.
i dont care how many times i change families, or how they live just down the road or how we promise we'll see each other soon ..it doesnt make it any less easier. of course it was raining that day (i swear it has to rain every time that i move) i sat on the sofa ..waiting, of course since brasilians are always late, and thought i want to get this over with. i want to say goodbye and i want to stay a little longer. i want to stay but i know i cant. i tried thinking of things to say, how to express my graditude, how to say i love you in a "host daughter/sister" kind-of way. how many times i could say thankyou without it becoming annoying. but when the time came, i didnt say much of anything ..just squeezed extra tight with my hugs and gave extra kisses ..and hope that somehow they already know how much they mean to me.
i felt like i just moved into this family ..i still remember what we had the first day for lunch (lasagna) and how my little sister took my hand, saying "vem ca" (come here) and showed me my room.
unlike all my other families, i adjusted really quickly here; within days i felt at homee. i moved in and the next weekend was Carnaval, the holiday i spent with my father's side of the family ..a family more out of control than "a bunch of clowns." we did nothing that weekend but bond ..i got to know my "new" family better. my brother took me to my first futbol (soccer) game days after ..and i realized how much i love brasil and their ridiculous fans (people literally had "tramp stamps" of their team's mascot.) for my sister's birthday, i watched as my father made homemade pizza ..and then later ate it the next morning for breakfast. all the weeekday nights with my parents going out to bars and all the sunday afternooons at the club in my bikkini. the weekend where i just spent with my mom, having our nails done and eating what felt like 3kilos of sushi ..how much our bellies ached afterwards and how we swore we would jog the next morning ..which of course didnt happened. that saturday afternoon by the pool with my sister and her friends, when i learned i could relate more to her than i thought. how often my mom embarrassed my sister and how often i thought my brother loved the dog, megan (pronounced meggie) more than he liked me. learning how my mom talks about food as if she is a culinary artist ..when she simply loves to eat and all the times i heard my dad snoring on the sofa. easter holiday was spent in the city of my mother and i felt at home at my grandma's house ..doing nothing but spend time with my sister. i dont know how many times i came home traveling and foundd myself being dragged along to this party or this show ..becasue here in brasil, it just doesnt stop. all the times i heard my mom speak english and know that her accent is the cutest thing possible. the week of school that i didnt go to class because of testing and i stayed up hours and hours just talking to my sister, showing her my world and learning more about hers. and i'll always remember how my mom promised to come to pennsylvania for my college graduation ..and then my wedding ..and then later to see her "grandchildren" ..i giggled in delight and knew that i would always have a home in 118 rua treze de maio, barrio dás águas and they'll always have a home in pennsylvania ..or wherever in the world i end up staying.
