CAUSTION:
this post is not for the average reader. anything said or described is meant for your laughs &your enterinment. judgement is not permitted.
in my journey in becoming everything brasileria, an important and essential part is the bikinni wax. afterall, its called the "brasileria bikinni wax" so heres what happened:
before i went to the beach, me and Clare (aussie exchange) went to get our nails done..and then a wax. the nails part was alll fun &such. then the women looked at me and said, you first? (this whole dialogue was in portuguese but i dont feeel like translating back &forth)
me? but uhh, i was.. you ..welll yeah? i'm nervouss.
we go into this back room with this flabby door, i wouldnt even consider it a dooor and im even surprised she decided to close it. in the room, is a table that you would seee at the doctors office, with wax paper and alll. the women motions for me to take off my shorts and i start to but then she immediatley INSISTS that she does for it for me, "i just got my nails done" (they were clearly dry) the embarrassing part of that was she had a hard time getting my shorts off because i was sweating, its brasil, and everything was sticking to me. ha
i sit down on the table, she grabs my underpants and hikes them up. revealing everything.
woah there. wasnt expecting that.
i immediatley start laughing at this whole thing. what in the world am i doing here? she looks at me, with wax in her hand, and asks, "are you modest?"
i am not brasileria, so yes i am modest.
she starts putting the wax on the one side and its HOT! burning hott. after awhile, it starts to cool and actually feeel good. as sooon as it starts to feeel good, she RIPS it offf my skin, without warning.
thankyouu.
she continues to wax the other side, asking me questions and i am trying to have a conversation in portuguese but my soft screams interupt the conversation every so often.
she puts the wax away and i think she is done. i think i can put my pants back on and feeel human again, feeel like the modest american again.
she comes back with tweezers.
OHMYGOSH no no.. meu deus ..NO NO nossa senhora!! NO NO ..abalsoltey not ..why?! you are not getting next to me ..please no NO NÃO!!
i am going to pulll up my underpants, grab my pants and walk out of here with the rest of my diginity and not look back until i am home with huge sweatpants on and curl into a balll.
ofcourse that doesnt happen. i sit through the pain and silently curse everything in that rooom.
finally its over and i can finally pull up my pants (thankyou Lord) and leave. Clare is next and she seees in my face that it was NOT a good experince. i tell her no, its not worth it. dont do this to yourself. she said she heard me yelling a few rooms over. i thougth i wasnt being that loud.
Clare returns literally 5minutes later (was that how long i was in there cause it definatly felt like 17 long hours of pain)
she said it didnt hurt that bad. i hate you clare
lets just say that i am not going backk there for a lonnnnnnnnnng time..
well i mean, maybe ;D
